To recap: I awoke with my head stitched back together by a friendly old man. In exchange for some couch-taco action, he allowed me to rob him blind. Then he dressed me in his dead wife’s clothes and sent me out to find love among a pile of gecko corpses. I’ll get back...

TO RECAP: Traded couch stank for facial reconstruction, explored the very boring town of Goodsprings a bit, stole some guy’s weed, and met Sunny SmilesDarlene, the future former Mrs. Neutron. All good. Let’s wasteland! Darlene said I could tag along with her on her...

War. War never changes. It just really surprises the shit out of you sometimes. We did it! Holy shit, you guys, can you fucking believe we– …guys? FUCK. I awaken, full of resolve. Today is the day I finally get the heck out of this sleepy little town! Granted, it’s...

Before undertaking any violent gang warfare, it’s wise to stock up on medical supplies! Steeling myself for dehydration, I take my first tentative steps back onto familiar ground. Okay, I know the score here. Might as well get into character. *ahem* “Heeeeeeyyyy, I...